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So sorry for leaving you for so long long time. i recently updated my daily life on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter & Tumblr. hehe Alhamdulillah, thank Allah i'm still breathing and standing still in year 2013.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
a Very Sad Story
It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless
and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to
see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet
her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella.
Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak
and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm.
and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to
see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet
her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella.
Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak
and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm.
She said, "I miss you."
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."
Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."
We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.
She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."
With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever." She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.
She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."
I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"
I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.
Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain wouldl go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide. But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years's feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.
The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.
I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself."
She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her. I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."
Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."
We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.
She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."
With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever." She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.
She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."
I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"
I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.
Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain wouldl go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide. But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years's feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.
The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.
I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself."
She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her. I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.
She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn't see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I left without regrets. But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words.
:( Why oh Why?
As the decades pass, I still recall the wonderful memories I shared with
my wife. As a matter of fact, I still smell her scent and feel her
sense of life in this very room where we shared our love. And yes,
dammit, I still call her my wife. I loved her as much as one being can
love another! I'm sixty-nine years old; she died when I was thirty-four.
As it stands, I still remember the painful night my lover left me. . .
It was a night filled with peculiarities; my sister gave birth prematurely, my car- which had never failed me- wasn't igniting, and on top of this, my wife was nagging me.
"Honey," she said, "go see your sister. You're family. You have to go." I didn't want to because it was a 4-hour drive, and my car wasn't even starting!
"Look," I said, "the car isn't working right now. Besides, it's late." It was 7:32 p.m., and I had work the next day. She looked at me with anger. "And why do you want me to go alone?" I inquired. "Why don't you want to come with?"
"Because she's your sister and, besides, I have to clean the entire house!"
I gave in. I'd rather go on the 4-hour trip than argue, I thought. But now that I think about it, I'd rather argue with my baby; at least I'd be able to hear her sweet voice and see her precious face.
I got the car working; it just needed some power, which I got from a neighbor.
The 4-hour drive turned out to be a 2-hour drive. The streets were rather empty and hasteness was inevitable.
I got to the hospital and saw my sister and her newly-born. She looked pale and sick; the new-born was crying. I didn't want to stay for long; I missed my wife already, despite the arguing. I couldn't wait to return home.
Finally, at 10p.m., I departed from the hospital. This time the drive took only 1 hour because there was absolutely no cars out at all. (We lived out at a ranch)
I turned into our street and cruised down my block. I saw a car parked in my drive-way. It didn't seem familiar and I didn't know what to do. I parked my car on the sidewalk and got off to inspect the unknown car. I still had no idea who it belonged to.
This was confusing because it was 11p.m. and there was a car I'd never seen before in my drive-way. I walked to the front door and unlocked it quietly. I walked inside. There was a strange sound coming from my wife and mine's bedroom.
"Celine," I called. I kept walking toward the bedroom as the noise grew clearer: still, I couldn't make out what it was.
I was at the foot of our door and heard a man moaning excitedly; then I heard my wife moan very softly. Unbelievably infuriated, I kicked the door open and saw a sight I will never, ever forget.
The man was on top of my wife, my baby, my life! And she had her arms wrapped around him with such softness it completely devastated me. I felt oozy, crushed; my heart fell all the way to hell, yet I still managed to yell, "What the **** are you doing, Celine!" I felt tears running quickly down my face.
She looked at me, remained quiet, and solely stared. The man was half off of her. Instinctively, I ran to her and threw him off. As I threw him off, I saw another sight that will forever remain in my head. The man, the coward, the monster, had slit my wife's throat! He was raping her corpse!
"You coward!" I shrieked at him. "I'll kill you! Why did you do this! My wife, you took my wife! Damn you!" I felt fatigue. I lost my logical sense and everything in my mind disappeared; I mentally lost everything at that moment.
The man ran out as I sat next to my wife's corpse crying out to God, asking why He (God) let this happen. I cried uncontrollably as I hugged her; her blood was all over me, but I didn't care. I just wanted to feel close to her, no matter the circumstances. I heard the man's car rev and leave, but I didn't think about running after him, nor revenge: I just wanted my baby, my wife back. God, I love her so much. I arranged for her to be buried next to my mother, and I will be next to her. I visit her grave every single day. I have never went one day without visiting her, my baby, my life, my soul, my wife.
I'm left with several questions: Did she invite him over? If so, was it an affair? If not, did he simply pick a random house to break into and rape someone? If he picked a random house, he will never know the pain he put me through. No one will. I cried myself to sleep everyday for over 2 decades and even as I'm writing this sentence my tears are falling onto the floor but I don't care. All I wonder is: Why, baby, why? Why did you want me to see my sister alone? We both could have gone and you would have been here next to me physically right now, instead of just in my head.
How I wish you were here...
It was a night filled with peculiarities; my sister gave birth prematurely, my car- which had never failed me- wasn't igniting, and on top of this, my wife was nagging me.
"Honey," she said, "go see your sister. You're family. You have to go." I didn't want to because it was a 4-hour drive, and my car wasn't even starting!
"Look," I said, "the car isn't working right now. Besides, it's late." It was 7:32 p.m., and I had work the next day. She looked at me with anger. "And why do you want me to go alone?" I inquired. "Why don't you want to come with?"
"Because she's your sister and, besides, I have to clean the entire house!"
I gave in. I'd rather go on the 4-hour trip than argue, I thought. But now that I think about it, I'd rather argue with my baby; at least I'd be able to hear her sweet voice and see her precious face.
I got the car working; it just needed some power, which I got from a neighbor.
The 4-hour drive turned out to be a 2-hour drive. The streets were rather empty and hasteness was inevitable.
I got to the hospital and saw my sister and her newly-born. She looked pale and sick; the new-born was crying. I didn't want to stay for long; I missed my wife already, despite the arguing. I couldn't wait to return home.
Finally, at 10p.m., I departed from the hospital. This time the drive took only 1 hour because there was absolutely no cars out at all. (We lived out at a ranch)
I turned into our street and cruised down my block. I saw a car parked in my drive-way. It didn't seem familiar and I didn't know what to do. I parked my car on the sidewalk and got off to inspect the unknown car. I still had no idea who it belonged to.
This was confusing because it was 11p.m. and there was a car I'd never seen before in my drive-way. I walked to the front door and unlocked it quietly. I walked inside. There was a strange sound coming from my wife and mine's bedroom.
"Celine," I called. I kept walking toward the bedroom as the noise grew clearer: still, I couldn't make out what it was.
I was at the foot of our door and heard a man moaning excitedly; then I heard my wife moan very softly. Unbelievably infuriated, I kicked the door open and saw a sight I will never, ever forget.
The man was on top of my wife, my baby, my life! And she had her arms wrapped around him with such softness it completely devastated me. I felt oozy, crushed; my heart fell all the way to hell, yet I still managed to yell, "What the **** are you doing, Celine!" I felt tears running quickly down my face.
She looked at me, remained quiet, and solely stared. The man was half off of her. Instinctively, I ran to her and threw him off. As I threw him off, I saw another sight that will forever remain in my head. The man, the coward, the monster, had slit my wife's throat! He was raping her corpse!
"You coward!" I shrieked at him. "I'll kill you! Why did you do this! My wife, you took my wife! Damn you!" I felt fatigue. I lost my logical sense and everything in my mind disappeared; I mentally lost everything at that moment.
The man ran out as I sat next to my wife's corpse crying out to God, asking why He (God) let this happen. I cried uncontrollably as I hugged her; her blood was all over me, but I didn't care. I just wanted to feel close to her, no matter the circumstances. I heard the man's car rev and leave, but I didn't think about running after him, nor revenge: I just wanted my baby, my wife back. God, I love her so much. I arranged for her to be buried next to my mother, and I will be next to her. I visit her grave every single day. I have never went one day without visiting her, my baby, my life, my soul, my wife.
I'm left with several questions: Did she invite him over? If so, was it an affair? If not, did he simply pick a random house to break into and rape someone? If he picked a random house, he will never know the pain he put me through. No one will. I cried myself to sleep everyday for over 2 decades and even as I'm writing this sentence my tears are falling onto the floor but I don't care. All I wonder is: Why, baby, why? Why did you want me to see my sister alone? We both could have gone and you would have been here next to me physically right now, instead of just in my head.
How I wish you were here...
Too Late To Say Goodbye...
Everyone always has that one best friend that you can't forget. They
were always there for you. It's funny how they are all you think about
after something tragic happened. You think of them one second and then
you start bursting into tears and remembering all the memories. His name
was Ryder. He was my best friend. We were suppose to be best friends
forever and always. He was about ten when his family discovered that he
had brain cancer or brain tumor I forgot, it's just to painful to think
about it. As a family they did everything they can to help find a way to
cure their son. They did a lot of things to help him. Eventually it
went away, or so they thought they did. He got it back when he was
fifteen. I met Ryder when I was thirteen. We hung out a lot even though
he was home school and I just went to school. I didn't really like
school cause it took time away from us being with each other. We were
ALWAYS together. It was like two peas in a pod. You know that saying?
Well I don't know how we became best friends but I don't regret it once.
However I do regret what happened that one night. But you will figure
that out later in the story. Years passed and we became really close. He
was my best friend. I knew he had feelings for me, but I didn't see him
that way. He was just a friend. Before I started to get to know him
better, he always used to hurt himself. He'd cut himself, do drugs, do
stupid things like jumping of the roof with his skateboard, which
eventually he broke his leg. But when he met me, it's like it all
suddenly stopped. He told me I was like his angel coming to guide him
the right way. After two long years of friendship, the brain tumor took
over again. He wasn't really at home much and we weren't able to be each
other as much. I would visit him sometimes the days he was in the
hospital bringing him balloons and a teddy bear. He was better to go
home and we came close again with me taking care of him making sure he's
alright before I leave his side.
One day we were in his room just talking about things in our life wondering will we still be friends when we get older. He said something to me, I forgot what it was, but it got me really pissed. I told him he could go to hell. To my one best friend. I told him so much things. The worst one was that I said I didn't want to see him anymore and he could die and I wouldn't care. Truth is I was just hurt. The last words I told him was I hated him. As soon as I said that I left and slammed the door and ran to my house crying. Days went by without us talking. It hurt deep inside. I wanted to go to his house and apologize but I just wasn't ready I needed time alone.
Then that one called changed my whole day. It was Ryder's sister that called me.
"Hello Kelly?"
"Yea who's this?"
"This is Janelle, Ryder's sister"
"Oh yea what's up?"
"Uhmm, I don't know how this would get to you, but Ryder passed away last night in the hospital. The brain tumor, it was just to much."
"Haha sure yea ok sure it did."
"What are you talking about I'm telling the truth?" I heard her starting to cry and I knew that she wasn't lying.
"No, NO! Please tell me your lying. Please tell me this can't happen to me! Please!" I started yelling in the phone. All of a sudden I threw the phone and fell on the floor crying my eyes out. I started to choke on my tears. I started to regret everything I told him that night. How can I say that to him? He was my best friend and I told him all those things. I just wanted to die right there. Worst thing was, I never got to say I'm sorry for what I said. All that guilt on me. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I started to throw all my things around getting mad at myself for being so stupid. A best friend doesn't do that. Days went by and it seemed forever without him. As you think yes I did cry every day. I cried my self to sleep and I woke up ok, but then started to cry again. It was good it was Winter Break cause I did not want to do anything or go anywhere at all. I just stayed up locked in my room for a whole week. My parents tried to help me but I just didn't want to do anything with them. I wanted my best friend next to me, not them. I just wanted to know if Ryder was ok. Did he die in a painful way or what? I went to his house and tried to comfort his family, but instead I cried with them. I don't know what but something inside told me to go to his room. I went in there and started to touch all his things. What made me break down was seeing the picture we took together. I went and laid on his bed and started crying again. All of a sudden I felt something lay down next to me and it felt like they were hugging me. Then I heard a whisper,
"I love you Kelly, don't cry"
That made me stop crying for a while. I sat up and looked to where the spot was where it felt they laid down. It was warm. I knew he was with me. Then I heard him say again "Goodbye Kelly, take care I will always love you and watch for you" I started crying again
"No Ryder please don't leave me here come back!" but the spot wasn't warm no more it felt empty. I'm like glad he came to visit me, but what hurts the most, was not being able to say I'm sorry. I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself for that or if he even forgave me. But I am truly sorry. I still cry at times thinking of him thinking if that never happened would he still be here? The fact that I told him he could die was maybe the fact he gave up the fight. I never wanted that to happen. But I can't change the time it's to late. I'll always remember him <|3 I'm just waiting for my time that way I can go visit him. I used to think about suicide, but I knew if I did it, he'd be upset with me. But until my time comes, I won't ever forget my best friend. Thanks for reading my story.
It's been a year since you passed away but I won't ever forget you and I still cry for you. Hope your doing better up there Ryder and I will see you soon :'(
R.I.P Ryder
One day we were in his room just talking about things in our life wondering will we still be friends when we get older. He said something to me, I forgot what it was, but it got me really pissed. I told him he could go to hell. To my one best friend. I told him so much things. The worst one was that I said I didn't want to see him anymore and he could die and I wouldn't care. Truth is I was just hurt. The last words I told him was I hated him. As soon as I said that I left and slammed the door and ran to my house crying. Days went by without us talking. It hurt deep inside. I wanted to go to his house and apologize but I just wasn't ready I needed time alone.
Then that one called changed my whole day. It was Ryder's sister that called me.
"Hello Kelly?"
"Yea who's this?"
"This is Janelle, Ryder's sister"
"Oh yea what's up?"
"Uhmm, I don't know how this would get to you, but Ryder passed away last night in the hospital. The brain tumor, it was just to much."
"Haha sure yea ok sure it did."
"What are you talking about I'm telling the truth?" I heard her starting to cry and I knew that she wasn't lying.
"No, NO! Please tell me your lying. Please tell me this can't happen to me! Please!" I started yelling in the phone. All of a sudden I threw the phone and fell on the floor crying my eyes out. I started to choke on my tears. I started to regret everything I told him that night. How can I say that to him? He was my best friend and I told him all those things. I just wanted to die right there. Worst thing was, I never got to say I'm sorry for what I said. All that guilt on me. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I started to throw all my things around getting mad at myself for being so stupid. A best friend doesn't do that. Days went by and it seemed forever without him. As you think yes I did cry every day. I cried my self to sleep and I woke up ok, but then started to cry again. It was good it was Winter Break cause I did not want to do anything or go anywhere at all. I just stayed up locked in my room for a whole week. My parents tried to help me but I just didn't want to do anything with them. I wanted my best friend next to me, not them. I just wanted to know if Ryder was ok. Did he die in a painful way or what? I went to his house and tried to comfort his family, but instead I cried with them. I don't know what but something inside told me to go to his room. I went in there and started to touch all his things. What made me break down was seeing the picture we took together. I went and laid on his bed and started crying again. All of a sudden I felt something lay down next to me and it felt like they were hugging me. Then I heard a whisper,
"I love you Kelly, don't cry"
That made me stop crying for a while. I sat up and looked to where the spot was where it felt they laid down. It was warm. I knew he was with me. Then I heard him say again "Goodbye Kelly, take care I will always love you and watch for you" I started crying again
"No Ryder please don't leave me here come back!" but the spot wasn't warm no more it felt empty. I'm like glad he came to visit me, but what hurts the most, was not being able to say I'm sorry. I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself for that or if he even forgave me. But I am truly sorry. I still cry at times thinking of him thinking if that never happened would he still be here? The fact that I told him he could die was maybe the fact he gave up the fight. I never wanted that to happen. But I can't change the time it's to late. I'll always remember him <|3 I'm just waiting for my time that way I can go visit him. I used to think about suicide, but I knew if I did it, he'd be upset with me. But until my time comes, I won't ever forget my best friend. Thanks for reading my story.
It's been a year since you passed away but I won't ever forget you and I still cry for you. Hope your doing better up there Ryder and I will see you soon :'(
R.I.P Ryder
A Way of Love..
There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This
romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper-cranes as a gift to his girl.
Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his
future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until
one day,
his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she couldn't visualize any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then ...Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regains his confidence, he worked hard day and night,
slogging his body and mind just to make something out of him.
Finally with all these hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company. You never fail until you stop trying one rainy day, while this guy was driving; he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize those were his girl's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan.
He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore; he had his own company, car, comfort etc. He made it! Before the guy can realize, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and he got out of his car and followed.... and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... and he saw his paper cranes beside her. Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you Her parents saw him. He asks them why had this happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer.
She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle ..... therefore she had choose to leave him ... Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him ... Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever The guy just wept ..... The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting
right beside them knowing you can't have them
his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she couldn't visualize any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then ...Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regains his confidence, he worked hard day and night,
slogging his body and mind just to make something out of him.
Finally with all these hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company. You never fail until you stop trying one rainy day, while this guy was driving; he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize those were his girl's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan.
He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore; he had his own company, car, comfort etc. He made it! Before the guy can realize, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and he got out of his car and followed.... and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... and he saw his paper cranes beside her. Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you Her parents saw him. He asks them why had this happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer.
She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle ..... therefore she had choose to leave him ... Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him ... Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever The guy just wept ..... The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting
right beside them knowing you can't have them
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
First, Last and Only Kiss..
There was once a young man who was in love. It was the same old story;
he loved a girl who he knew from school. He loved her for years and they
were close, talking on the phone well into the night several times a
week, but they did not hang out together a whole lot. Then as the boy
got older they started running with the same crowd, he was happy at
first, until she started dating someone else, and of course he was
friends with the other guy.
Life went on, for our hero was used to being in love with her but not having her. So one day her boyfriend and she were having problems and he went on a family vacation for two weeks and the relationship was left up in the air while he was gone. So our protagonist took the opportunity and told her how he felt on night before he dropped her off at home. She was receptive and didn't shoot him down, the next few weeks were the best of his life, she would call every day and they talked and hung out all the time. This was the first real thing this boy had experienced and he was in way over his head. He had several opportunities to make his move but never did, not taking even the most obvious signs. So this went on while the friend was away. But as you may have thought, he had to come back sometime, and he did. The weekend he got back the whole crew of friends went to a beach house for the weekend, the boyfriend could tell something was different. He kept trying to be close to her but she was being very cold about it. And when he got an opportunity our protagonist tried to get close and she let him in. The group was drinking heavily, except for the two guys who were not big drinkers. The group ended up on the beach and stripped down to their undies and went for a dip. Our protagonist and the girl ended up together in the water, just walking and talking and he held her hand. As I mentioned he had no experience and was happy just walking and holding hands. But she was not and they made it back to the group and as they did she said that she had wished that he had kissed her, so he did what he thought was best and went in for the kiss, it was short and not sweet, and she pulled back and said "well I guess we will never know." The weekend ended and she claimed not to remember the night, which was likely due to the high amount of hard liquor she had consumed. But our hero will remember it for the rest of his life, and when asked he told her that nothing more than holding hands happened. After that weekend the girl and her boyfriend got back together and our hero stayed in love with her and they remained good friends. She and the boyfriend eventually broke up but nothing happened with the protagonist and her. She did however do one thing that was rather cruel. When they would talk about getting together she would say "I really like you but I don't see us starting a relationship right now, but I can see us being together in the future." So he always hoped but nothing happened, he got a new girlfriend and she did another cruel thing she said "well now that your with someone I really want you" he let her know that she will always be number one but nothing happened. They stayed friends but the group drifted apart, as often happens in this world. They talk on the very rare occasion now but live in different states and it's just not reasonable. But our hero will never forget her and, though it is not often, he does think about her and wonders what could have been, and he will always remember her words "I can see us being together", he remembers the day, the time, where they were and where they had been, it is etched in his memory, tormenting him even now in his late twenties.
I used the terms protagonist and hero to keep the reader informed on who was being discussed. I do not see the boy as a "hero" I just used the terms to mean main character.
I know the story has no act III twist or sudden action, but real life stories rarely do?
Life went on, for our hero was used to being in love with her but not having her. So one day her boyfriend and she were having problems and he went on a family vacation for two weeks and the relationship was left up in the air while he was gone. So our protagonist took the opportunity and told her how he felt on night before he dropped her off at home. She was receptive and didn't shoot him down, the next few weeks were the best of his life, she would call every day and they talked and hung out all the time. This was the first real thing this boy had experienced and he was in way over his head. He had several opportunities to make his move but never did, not taking even the most obvious signs. So this went on while the friend was away. But as you may have thought, he had to come back sometime, and he did. The weekend he got back the whole crew of friends went to a beach house for the weekend, the boyfriend could tell something was different. He kept trying to be close to her but she was being very cold about it. And when he got an opportunity our protagonist tried to get close and she let him in. The group was drinking heavily, except for the two guys who were not big drinkers. The group ended up on the beach and stripped down to their undies and went for a dip. Our protagonist and the girl ended up together in the water, just walking and talking and he held her hand. As I mentioned he had no experience and was happy just walking and holding hands. But she was not and they made it back to the group and as they did she said that she had wished that he had kissed her, so he did what he thought was best and went in for the kiss, it was short and not sweet, and she pulled back and said "well I guess we will never know." The weekend ended and she claimed not to remember the night, which was likely due to the high amount of hard liquor she had consumed. But our hero will remember it for the rest of his life, and when asked he told her that nothing more than holding hands happened. After that weekend the girl and her boyfriend got back together and our hero stayed in love with her and they remained good friends. She and the boyfriend eventually broke up but nothing happened with the protagonist and her. She did however do one thing that was rather cruel. When they would talk about getting together she would say "I really like you but I don't see us starting a relationship right now, but I can see us being together in the future." So he always hoped but nothing happened, he got a new girlfriend and she did another cruel thing she said "well now that your with someone I really want you" he let her know that she will always be number one but nothing happened. They stayed friends but the group drifted apart, as often happens in this world. They talk on the very rare occasion now but live in different states and it's just not reasonable. But our hero will never forget her and, though it is not often, he does think about her and wonders what could have been, and he will always remember her words "I can see us being together", he remembers the day, the time, where they were and where they had been, it is etched in his memory, tormenting him even now in his late twenties.
I used the terms protagonist and hero to keep the reader informed on who was being discussed. I do not see the boy as a "hero" I just used the terms to mean main character.
I know the story has no act III twist or sudden action, but real life stories rarely do?
I wish....
Jami's Diary
8th Grade Year
I wish I wish I could tell her how I feel. Today I saw the most beautiful girl in the whole 8th grade class ,and the world. Jenny was her name, when i asked she spoke like an angel. I wish I could tell her how I feel...
12th Grade Year (Prom)
I wish I wish I could tell her how I feel. Me and Jenny talked today. She really loves her boyfriend. They broke up and I had to comfort her after prom. She told me i was the best friend on the planet. I wish I could tell her how I feel...
College Sophomore Year
I wish I wish I could tell her how I feel. Jenny has grown even more beautiful if that's even possible. I saw her at a party with Derek. My heart sank, she was happy as ever. We talked about him, she says he's different. I wish I could tell her how I feel...
College Graduation
I wish I wish I could tell her how I feel. We were all the happiest we've ever been. Jenny ran up to me after accepting degrees and kissed me on the check and yelled "WE MADE IT!". Jenny then ran to Derek and kissed him deeply. I wish I could tell her how I feel...
Jenny's Marriage
I wish I wish I could've told her how I feel. Everyone was happy...except me. Jenny had the biggest grin on her face ever. I smiled back to make her happy. During their kiss I had to look away, and blink the tears out of my eyes. I wish I could've told her how I feel... ..
Jenny's Funeral
I wish I wish I could've told her how I feel. Today was Jenny's memorial. I don't want to live anymore. After the service her mother brought me a box from Jenny's house. The will said i was to receive all it's contents. In it was a book I gave her in 8th grade, the prom corsette I gave her in 12th grade, the notebook I gave her sophomore year in college, the button I gave her for her college graduation robe, an earring i gave to her on her wedding, and a diary.It read...
Jenny's Diary
8th Grade Year
I wish I wish I could tell him how I feel...
I wish I wish I could tell her how I feel. Today I saw the most beautiful girl in the whole 8th grade class ,and the world. Jenny was her name, when i asked she spoke like an angel. I wish I could tell her how I feel...
12th Grade Year (Prom)
I wish I wish I could tell her how I feel. Me and Jenny talked today. She really loves her boyfriend. They broke up and I had to comfort her after prom. She told me i was the best friend on the planet. I wish I could tell her how I feel...
College Sophomore Year
I wish I wish I could tell her how I feel. Jenny has grown even more beautiful if that's even possible. I saw her at a party with Derek. My heart sank, she was happy as ever. We talked about him, she says he's different. I wish I could tell her how I feel...
College Graduation
I wish I wish I could tell her how I feel. We were all the happiest we've ever been. Jenny ran up to me after accepting degrees and kissed me on the check and yelled "WE MADE IT!". Jenny then ran to Derek and kissed him deeply. I wish I could tell her how I feel...
Jenny's Marriage
I wish I wish I could've told her how I feel. Everyone was happy...except me. Jenny had the biggest grin on her face ever. I smiled back to make her happy. During their kiss I had to look away, and blink the tears out of my eyes. I wish I could've told her how I feel... ..
Jenny's Funeral
I wish I wish I could've told her how I feel. Today was Jenny's memorial. I don't want to live anymore. After the service her mother brought me a box from Jenny's house. The will said i was to receive all it's contents. In it was a book I gave her in 8th grade, the prom corsette I gave her in 12th grade, the notebook I gave her sophomore year in college, the button I gave her for her college graduation robe, an earring i gave to her on her wedding, and a diary.It read...
Jenny's Diary
8th Grade Year
I wish I wish I could tell him how I feel...
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Happy 5 Year Anniversary to us..
You are truly a blessing from God.
Thank you for being my partner, lover, and bestfriend.
Thank you for being my partner, lover, and bestfriend.
No one else would understand our relationship,
and no one else in this world would understand me the way you do.
Happy 5 Year Anniversary to us.
and no one else in this world would understand me the way you do.
Happy 5 Year Anniversary to us.
I LOVE YOU LONG TIME ZAHIR <3
Saturday, February 25, 2012
does heaven have a phone number...
Does Heaven have a phone number?
Mommy went to Heaven, but I need her here today,
My tummy hurts and I fell down, I need her right away,
Operator can you tell me how to find her in this book?
Is heaven in the yellow part, I don't know where to look.
I think my daddy needs her too, at night I hear him cry.
I hear him call her name sometimes, but I really don't know why.
Maybe if I call her, she will hurry home to me.
Is Heaven very far away, is it across the sea?
She's been gone a long, long time she needs to come home now!
I really need to reach her, but I simply don't know how.
Help me find the number please, is it listed under "Heaven"?
I can't read these big words, I am only seven.
I'm sorry operator, I didn't mean to make you cry,
Is your tummy hurting too, or is there something in your eye?
If I call my church maybe they will know.
Mommy said when we need help that's where we should go.
I found the number to my church tacked up on the wall.
Thank you operator, I'll give them a call
Mommy went to Heaven, but I need her here today,
My tummy hurts and I fell down, I need her right away,
Operator can you tell me how to find her in this book?
Is heaven in the yellow part, I don't know where to look.
I think my daddy needs her too, at night I hear him cry.
I hear him call her name sometimes, but I really don't know why.
Maybe if I call her, she will hurry home to me.
Is Heaven very far away, is it across the sea?
She's been gone a long, long time she needs to come home now!
I really need to reach her, but I simply don't know how.
Help me find the number please, is it listed under "Heaven"?
I can't read these big words, I am only seven.
I'm sorry operator, I didn't mean to make you cry,
Is your tummy hurting too, or is there something in your eye?
If I call my church maybe they will know.
Mommy said when we need help that's where we should go.
I found the number to my church tacked up on the wall.
Thank you operator, I'll give them a call
Friends, thanks for everything :') i miss all of you
Somewhere between the procrastination and the homework, the
incessant forwards, the friendships and the calls to each other
complaining about crushes.
Somewhere between the phone calls to old
friends, the "I miss yours", the "I love yours" and the "What are
we doing tonight?"
And somewhere between all of the changing and
growing.
Somewhere between the classes, the skipping classes, the studying for tests, the pretending to study for tests and the downright NOT studying for tests.
I forgot.. I forgot what
high school is all about. I forgot what it meant to cry. I forgot that
pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy and that pretending to
be smart doesn't make you smart. I forgot that you can't just forget
the past in fear of the future. I forgot that you can't control
falling in love and that you can't make yourself fall in love.
I
learned that I can love. I learned that it's okay to mess up, it's okay to ask for help and it's okay to feel like crap. I
learned it's okay to complain and whine to all your friends for a whole
day. I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't
have. I learned that the greatest thing about high school isn't the
parties or the drinking or the hook-ups.
It's the friendships, which
means taking chances. I learned that sometimes the things we want to
forget are the things which we most need to talk about. I learned that
letters from friends are the most important things and that sending
cards to your friends makes you feel better.
But, basically, I just
learned that my friends both old and new are the most important
people to me in the world. AND... without them, I wouldn't be who I am
today. So this is a thank you to all of my friends for always being
there and even if we're not on good terms or we have lost touch. I
still care for you always and forever love all you guys.
She said He said
She said that she wanted to get high.
He took her to the tallest hill in town.
She said that she wanted to stay up all night and drink.
He gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated pepsi and said "drink up."
She said that she wanted to shoot herself in the face.
He gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger, aimed it at her face, and helped her pull the trigger.
She said that she wanted to cut herself.
He took a Polaroid of her, handed it to Her along with scissors, and had her cut it up.
She said that she wanted to see her blood.
He took her to get her ears pierced.
She said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep.
He had her watch a sad, romantic movie before bed.
She said that she wanted to be alone.
He gave her a name tag that said "my Name is: alone."
She said that she wanted to have someone there To take care of her, always.
He asked when he wasn't…
Friday, February 24, 2012
a Girl and a Guy saying..
Girl says;
I can't promise you perfection, Cause that is not who I am. I can't promise you forever, Cause I don't hold fate within my hands. I can't promise you the sunshine, Because I know there will be rain. I can't promise you complete happiness, Cause with true love, there comes pain. I can't promise to always smile, Cause life always has a way to make me cry. I can't promise to always stand strong, Cause it's never easy to want to give life another try.
I can't promise you perfection, Cause that is not who I am. I can't promise you forever, Cause I don't hold fate within my hands. I can't promise you the sunshine, Because I know there will be rain. I can't promise you complete happiness, Cause with true love, there comes pain. I can't promise to always smile, Cause life always has a way to make me cry. I can't promise to always stand strong, Cause it's never easy to want to give life another try.
Guy says;
I know you're not perfection. To me, you're so much more. I know we may not have forever, So I treasure every moment with you, In case another one isn't in store. Yes, I’d like the sunshine. But I’ll stand with you through the rain. Your happiness is my happiness. So I’ll do whatever I can to ease your pain. When I first saw you smile, I fell in love at once. And even deeper I fell, the first time I saw you cry. It was at that moment I realized, I wanted to protect you. And always be the one to wipe the tears from your eyes. I know that life is difficult, And has given you more than your fair share of pain and lies, But that's why I’ll be your strength when yours falls broken... And give you my wings to fly.
I know you're not perfection. To me, you're so much more. I know we may not have forever, So I treasure every moment with you, In case another one isn't in store. Yes, I’d like the sunshine. But I’ll stand with you through the rain. Your happiness is my happiness. So I’ll do whatever I can to ease your pain. When I first saw you smile, I fell in love at once. And even deeper I fell, the first time I saw you cry. It was at that moment I realized, I wanted to protect you. And always be the one to wipe the tears from your eyes. I know that life is difficult, And has given you more than your fair share of pain and lies, But that's why I’ll be your strength when yours falls broken... And give you my wings to fly.
Someone will read this :)
right now at this very minutes, someone is very PROUD of you. someone is THINKING of you. someone CARES about you. someone misses you. someone
wants to talk to you. someone wants to be with you. someone hopes you
aren't in trouble. someone wants to hold your HAND. someone just wants
you to be HAPPY just for you. someone thinks you are a GIFT. someone
wants to HUG you. someone loves you. someone admires your strength.
someone is thinking of you and SMILING. someone wants to be on your
shoulder to cry on. someone thinks the WORLD for you. someone wants to
protect you. someone would do anything for you. someone wants to be FORGIVEN. someone is grateful for your forgiveness. someone wants to
laugh with you about the old times. someone REMEMBERS you and wishes you
was there. someone needs to know that your love is unconditional.
someone wants to tell you how much they cares. someone wants to share
their DREAMS with you. someone wants to hold you in their arms. someone
wants you to hold them in your ARMS. someone treasures your spirits.
someone wishes she/he could STOP time because of you. someone loves you
for who you are. someone wants to be with you. someone hears a SONG that
reminds him/her of you. someone is glad that that you're her/his only TRUE LOVE. someone wants to be your friend. someone stayed up all night
thinking about you. someone is alive because of you. someone believes
that you are their soul mate. someone wants to be near you. someone
misses your guidance and advice. someone values your guidance and
advice. someone has FAITH in you. someone trusts you. someone needs you
to send them this letter. someone needs your support. someone needs you
to have faith in them. someone needs you to let them be your friend.
someone will CRY when they read this.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
How to make her feel Special
1. Don't tell her that she's fit or hot. Instead, tell her that she's pretty, gorgeous, beautiful or even cute. Compliments like these sound more sincere, and will make the girl feel loved. But don't over compliment a girl, because you might just freak her out, or give the impression that you just want something from her in return for your kindness.
2. Hold her hand a lot, wind your arm around her waist, kiss her cheek/forehead and hug her. This makes her feel protected and looked after, it also shows affection that girls love.
3. Find out what her favorite flower is and send her a bunch! She will love it!
4. Show that you care by trying to take part in the things that she loves doing, ex. going to see a chick flick, even if you think it will be boring,and try to make it look like your into it.
5. Ask her questions about her hobbies so she knows that you are interested in her. This will show her that you care about her interests.
6. Tell her that she is the most special person in your life and that life would not have been complete without her. Be romantic, but not freaky.
7. Sing romantic songs to her, even if your voice is horrible!
8. Tell her that she is your first priority and that you would always keep her happy in time of need. And don't just say it, actually do it!
9. Do what she wants, sometimes. But don't become her yes-man, as you'll come across as a push-over.
10. If she is sad ask her how you can make it better, don't just sit there and say "I'm sorry" girls want a guy that can make them happy even when they are down.
11. If she is late or forgets something wait for her, be patient and understanding. This will come to help you in the end as she will hopefully return the favor. Don't make her feel guilty ,especially if the first word she says is "Sorry.".
12. Send her random text messages like: 'I miss you, I'm thinking about you' etc. This will let her know that she is on your mind. But don't over do it! She'll think its cute but once it becomes a routine, she will start disliking it!
13. Let her think she has won a disagreement it is really good for the ego.
14. Respect and communication are also two other important keys into maintaining a healthy relationship.
15. Honesty is the best key to winning her over.
16. Love her for who she is and her beliefs because it is unlikely that she or her beliefs are going to change any time soon.
17. No matter what is happening in your lives, be by her side and let her know that you are there to support her in every moment.
another 31 ways to make a girl smile :)
1. Tell her she is beautiful
2. Hold her hand at any moment even if its ust for a second.
3. Hug her from behind
4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
5. Wrestle with her
6. Don’t go hang ut with you ex when she is not with you, you might not relize how badly it hurts her.
7. If youre talking to another girl, when you’re done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her. Let her know she’s yours and they aren’t.
8. Write her notes or call her just to say “hi”
9. Introduce her to your friends as your Girlfriend.
10. Play with her hair.
11. Pick her up (she loves it)
12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesn’t like it
13.Make her laugh
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.
15. If she’s mad at you, kiss her.
16. If you care about her, then TELL HER
17. Every guy should give their girl 3 things : a stuffed animal (she’ll hug it every time she goes to sleep), jewelry (she’ll treasure it forever), and one of her t-shirts (she’ll most likely wear it to bed) or sweatshirts sprayed with her cologne! and flowers or something occasionally.
18. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you’re alone.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile.
20. Hang out with her on weekends
21. Kiss her in the rain (girls love this)
22. Kiss her just for the heck of it
23. If your listening to music, let her listen too.
24. Remember her birthday and get her something, even if its’n simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. it means all the world to HER.
25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it, even if you don’t (it’ll make her happy.)
26. Always call her when you say you will, it may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her think you don’t care so call even if you can only talk for a minute. Girls don’t necessarily have to have hour long conversations every night but its nice for us to hear your voice even for a quick hello.
27. Give her what she wants
28. Recognize the small things they usually mean the most.
29. Don’t hug her friends or your friends that are girls cause she’ll feel left out.
30. Hangout with her whenever you are free and you should be free to hang with your Girlfriend all the time
31. If you care about her. SHOW her!
The Missing Rib
A girl in love asked her boyfriend.
Girl: Tell me. Who do you love most in this world?
Boy: You, of course!
Girl: In your heart, what am I to you?
The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. It was said that God saw that Adam was lonely. Hence, when Adam was sleeping, God took one of his rib and created Eve. Ever since then, every man has been searching for his missing rib. It is said that only when you find the woman of your life then you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."
The girl was extremely touched at his reply. Before long, there were married. After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while. However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedules in their lives and the never ending worries of daily problems. Their life became mundane. All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.
One day, after a particularly heated quarrel, the girl ran out of the house.
At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!"
The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse retorted, "Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"
Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while. He regretted what he said but the words spoken are like water that was thrown away, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined to breakup.
Before she left the house she said, "If I'm really not your missing rib, please let me go."
She continued, "It is less painful this way. Let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners."
Five years went by...
He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country for a while but retuned eventually. She had married a foreigner and that relationship ended with a divorce. He felt anguished that she never waited for him.
In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.
One day, they finally met each other by chance at the airport, a place where there were many reunions and goodbyes. He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone. They were separated by the security door She smiled at him gently.
Boy: How are you?
Girl: I'm fine. How about you? Have you found your missing rib?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'll be flying to New York in the next flight.
Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back. You know my number. Nothing has changed.
With a smile, she turned around and waved goodbye.
Goodbye...
One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York in the event that shocked the world on September 11.
Once again on another dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette. And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew. She was the missing rib that he had carelessly broken.
Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury. More often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and detrimental. We vent our frustrations 99% of the time at our loved ones. And even though we know that we ought to "Think twice and act wisely", it's often easier said than done.
Many of the things which happened each day are beyond our control. Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives.
Tomorrow may never come. Give and accept what you have today
The Last Words
A beautiful story, well written and captured all the emotions so well. It's another story about sickness and love, how when put together, it seems to just take away the hurt and the pain that the sickness brings. An inspirational story that will bring tears to anyone's eyes.
It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm.
I walked up to her and said, "You shouldn't come see me anymore," and stuff like how we shouldn't be together.
She said, "I miss you."
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."
Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."
We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.
She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."
With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever." She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.
She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."
I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"
I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.
Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain wouldl go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide.
But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years's feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.
The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.
I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself."
She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her.
I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.
She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn't see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I left without regrets. But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
:'( :'( :'(
THANKS FOR RUINING MY MOOD :'(
I THOUGHT I WAS GOOD ENOUGH, BUT EVERYTHING I DO FOR YOU SEEM SO WRONG.. EVERY TIME!
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